It's funny how people change when they can no longer walk away, cant remove themselves from the pain, have to live by their word and hold onto their problems, so many people just dump and run when the going gets tough, they run three hundred miles in the opposite direction, funny how we cant walk away from ourselves, we just bury ourselves, in menial tasks, a bottle of jack or a pale pile of pills on a cabinet bed stand. I don't know what to think when I wake up and think, shit... not this again. not me again, not my view of the pain again. I don't know where to look, who to turn to when the world is a blur full of dancers pulling weird hair do's out of their bag, everyones got tricks I seem to not quite grasp, and I'm playing a tune trying to keep up but my head and my heart just arent enough, in this beat up old world. everyone else seems ahead, Im drowning in the moment but with a red light switched on, saying i'm awesome, I'm friendly, everyone come sit by me, there aint no sorrow or unresolvement in my mind at all. But under that facade, that doesnt quite fit, I see the light in their eyes dim and recede when they take in my real state, my hearts pain and fear. I understand, I can see it. That they don;t want to hear it, they'd rather walk away now, rather go back to their talk of weather and fun gatherings, or of mutual fuck ups. It ain't personal, its just normal.